Here is a woman and her lingerie … and here is you (remember De Niro in “Meet the Fockers”?)
We’ve all heard that a woman doesn’t choose her lingerie – not even her most delicate and sexy gear – to please men’s eyes. And that singles with no plans for intimate encounters indulge themselves with full collections of bras and tights that would make the alarm bell ring red in any Bond movie …
This doesn’t give us men an excuse to ignore the effect of a woman’s underwear by keeping silent. Compliments are expected. But beware, as you enter an emotional minefield. Forget any rational arguments about comfort, cut, colour, or material. And don’t be too blunt about how sexy these few pieces of fabric make her look to you.
Turn on your inner Bond
Try to address the real issue she faced while choosing her underwear: the way her choices would reveal her personality. Far beyond the simple choices of model or colour, she underwent an elaborate process of assessing which choices mirror her mood and the way she wants to be understood; which choices would interact best with her body and allow her mind to feel free and beautiful. Boiling it down to a sexist remark would destroy your seductive attempt like praising a Van Gogh painting by saying how colourful it is.
Try do decode the messages she gives through her outfit. Try to articulate the unspoken. Try to bring to words what it is that makes her look so special while being just less than nude. If you are sensitive to this you will live up to her expectations.
The rewards are well worth it
It isn’t easy. But working your way through this minefield is mutually rewarding. It puts you in delicate territories you wouldn’t have thought possible to explore. Even a good attempt will leave you both with an elevated sense of self-consciousness and an intimate connection from which hundreds of flowers can blossom.